girlstalkblog:

Everyone has seen that moment, whether it be in a TV show or movie, where one brave person throws all caution to the wind, and tells a second person that they are completely in love with them. After keeping it locked away, or suddenly realizing, or finally just saying for the first time, this person decides to say “Fuck it! I’m going to tell this person that I love them. Completely, totally, with all my heart, and I don’t care. I don’t care if you love me back or not. I just need to let you know that I love you. A silly, ridiculous type of love, that if I keep it inside I’ll explode. Not because I want something of you in return, but because I think you deserve to know. You deserve to be happy, and at least know that one person in the world loves you.” Most recently I’ve been flashing back to a scene in Josh Radnor’s Happythankyoumoreplease, in which Tony Hale describes his one-sided love for Malin Akerman. 

However, this is not exactly a practical approach IRL. Largely because, who ever really feels that way?! Seriously. When was the last time you had a conversation with a friend, and they described this completely secret, untold love that they had for another person? And, if they do, why suddenly tell the person? 

Well, recently I’ve been posed with this dilemma. So I have this friend (yeah, yeah. I do…I swear) who, has been completely mad about one of their friends, for like a year. Something ridiculous like that. And because of the relationship status of the person involved, nothing was ever said. Just a silent, small, but totally genuine love. Sometimes you are just infatuated with people, with no real explanation to offer, other than the fact that you find them to be fantastic. Every day that you get to spend with them is the best day. Occasionally, this friend felt…uneasy, with keeping this secret. Mainly because of that ever lingering “If you love someone tell them because you don’t know if you’ll be able to tell them tomorrow blah blah blah” philosophy. And hey, what is the worst that could happen if I told them? They are awesome, and deserve to be told so. Answer: a whole lot of weird fucking things could happen! Ultimately, this friend wants to be loved back by this person…what if they don’t? What if this declaration of love turns into an inevitable rejection? In that case, would it be better to secretly love someone and never feel rejected? Problem #2:  what if this revealing of feelings changes the friendship? This friend cares so much about this person, that all they want is to be in their life. Platonic relationship or intimate—doesn’t matter. As long as they have some kind of relationship, they are happy. 

HERE IS THE GAME CHANGER: person is now single, and friend has been spending a lot of friendly time with person, because person is completely destroyed by their sudden break up. So now, the question is not only “Do I tell them?” it’s “WHEN do I tell them?” A lot can go wrong when a person is emotionally distraught. Then we get into the messy territory of rebounds, etc…yuck. 

So, the central thesis of this proposal is ultimately: should you tell someone, who has no idea, that you are in love with them? Despite consequences. OR- just keep it to yourself, and live contently knowing that you at least have the ability to love someone at a capacity you never before thought you were capable of? 

Discuss! Talk amongst yourselves and here.